Sunday, June 27, 2010
helloe wello cutie fellow!
kay NONSENSE. x) sunday madrasah day but decide not to go cause didnt feel like it. so hang out and catch up with awesome gf saraaah.^^ so funny lah, we talked about practically anything and everything. about family, people in secondary school, old pictures and videos and music too.syafirah and hidayah in mama sae mama sa mama ko sa ! mama sae mama sa mama ko sa! x) shake maha shake. angkat skirt smpi nampak panty.. ;) BAHAHAHA. feel like uploading that vid in fb. tehehees. but cannot lah, too uhmm exposed. x) hahaha!
and Nabilah, rest well and clear your mind. hope you'll feel heaps better and your conditions must improve by next term... GO AHNAB!
hmmm, school is starting back for most people. secondary and some poly.. holidays overrrrr and it's exam timeeee! good luck everyone do your best. My second test is starting next week.pffft. should start revising. okay i'll stop here. till i update again readers. take careeeeeeeeeeee!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
now then i realize, i dont know what i want nor like.
of course i prefer easy stuff.
but i forgot that nothing is easy.
everything is hard actually
so i dont like everything. hahah. okay whatthehell am i saying.. :}
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I can't keep up like others, this makes me worried.but i try my best.
Today went to somerset to get some stuff for my gemini and scorpio ladies at late noon. ;D Then time was already 5pm+, somerset and novena is near so decided to meet that girl up there after her work.^^ so nice meeting her today.makes me smile,happy and excited.hahah. come out from train door and smiles like one crazy girl. near-ing her smiles get wider and make highpitch noise/laughter. hahah. went to cwp to get some earstuds. I change my earstud price. instead of paying $2.90, I paid $1.50. siak eh? bahahaha! eat ice-cream and ruffles and had a good time talking to each other from novena all the way until my block.she is awesome.I love sarah! <3
hmmm let's see if i can remember what i did in the past few days..
Friday:
- Catch up with Hidayah baby on the phone. :D
- Trying to webcam with soul sista but failed cause msn is being an ass.
Saturday:
- Went to wisma indah with Sarah. :D And mik thought i was being mean/sarcastic when i actually didnt mean anything. hahah. sorry currypap cause you thought i was being mean.
- Talked with Hidayah baby on the phone again.:D
Sunday:
- Went to the airport to send off my fav aunt back to Dubai or is it Oman..
- Catch up with Iffah on the phone.:D
- Signed up for this community with Eva Rossette. ;) and someone thought i was romanian? hahaha! XD shit.i havent post any poem or story yet while eva already has. okay i should post soon. i created two poem during Ramadhan Romance *coughslikecoughs* you know i know GFs :))))
Monday:
- jogged with bilah.
Tuesday:
- went to johor with mum and dad and lisha.bought something that I like very much:D
~today~
Future plans..
Thursday:
- will meet my drama cliques. especially emmaaaa! it has been ages since I last meet/talked to her.
Friday:
- cca SLC bonding session at school.
Saturday:
- may finally come true:D
Sunday:
- attend a wedding at yishun. i'm scared that it's gonna be weird.hahah. but nvm, i should stop thinking/feeling weird :]
Sunday, May 9, 2010
" Go fly kite "
i can fly kite at indonesia but not at marina barrage?!?!Is it the wind here or is it just me?????
Naahhh, its me.. That kite in e picture was actually already in the air and i just took it from the man who was selling it.. :} HAHAHAH! X) Hmmmm, friday and saturday was DA BOMB. I did enjoyed myself for both outings. Friday is funny, e movie the back-up plan is hilarious. i really concentrate till some ppl can make fun out of it... yeahh, well people should know that i really like entertainment and i do watch the TV alot. so that should explain it. :D *khusyuk benar eh ikah*
hahahaha! X) well ten bucks to watch movie is kind of costly,cause i know that the last time i watched movie, momma just pay $6. i can watch it from the internet actually but nvm, time spent with GFs is priceless. it did made me happy and ill-feelings was gone for awhile. :DDD
Then comes super saturday! and four out of five of us play kites at marina barrage!^^ awesome much. but it would have been more awesome and gerek if hid did come along... Nehmind, thr will always be a next time :)))))) we can make time for each other. Unless its exam period then cannot lah.. hahahah. Well i dont want to elaborate much abt saturday, pictures will be uploaded later by soul sista aka sarah :DDD let the pictures explain it all..........
About e kite, though i had fun... it was tiring.... i ran and ran, tossing and turning e kite into e air..
FUHHHH. it takes alot of my energy. then after the whole thing, when sarah talked to me, my reply is pathetic bcos i was too tired and almost expressionless. muke confirm merepek. hahahah. so sorry my dear, i didnt mean it... but she know i was tired.. gosh, this show how easily tired and weak i am. Lpas main KITE je takleh react properly.. Boo me.. *BOOOO*
Sofia can make it fly so easy. Gosh how did she do that? jealous i. I guess i need time to practice and develop the skill for playing kite. Nehmind, i'll buy somemore and practice with sarah at our neighbourhood backyard. we'll play at the hill some time to come.^^ WUW!
"TARIK-TARIK LEPASSSSS... TARIK-TARIK LEPASSSSS..."
i keep saying that when i was playing kite with sarah at one point.. X) HAHAHAHAHA! :DDDD
funny or whaatttt.. hehehees :}
then today got madrasah, as usual me and sarah is late :} blahblahblah learnt about agama hindu and how & when islam was actually spread to singapore. Actually this country is supposed to be a malay country bcos of org laut and org melayu-islam staying in this land. thanks to Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles importing thousands of people from china, org melayu-islam yang at first the majority become the minority....danggggggg.
though friday & saturday i had a great time and was feeling happy and all.. i felt weird tday. like reaaalllyyyyyyyyyyy weeeeiiirrrrrrdddddddd. esp when going home time. i talked non-sense. poor soul sista got to hear/entertain/endure my crap. :S i was kind of sot, wait no, v e r y sot. and a little bit emo i think. or very? i dont know.. :l i dont know what's going on and what's exactly in my head/heart. maybe i think too much. and i was telling her that i miss someone. someone that i shouldnt miss. cause he is merepek. and never change. haiyaaaaa. well i miss the good times with him though. Our conversation can be so deep & personal. *okayshutupikahthatsthepast*
hmmm i think i cracked. i think i may cracked in the future or i already did. i think too much. making assumption/inferring. gosh my brain like to imagine things. i shouldnt take every little detail into consideration or my head will explode, and no one wants that to happen. I must force myself to be objective before i drive myself crazy. or else it cud cause unneccesary problems.
till then, i havent figure out my objective nor the problem. yet. got some emotional clearing to be done.
p/s: sometimes i wonder, should i tell someone(=complain), to keep quiet, or to just be honest? i have always, always picked the third one.. till some thgs happened & made me think i should picked the second or first one. heh. and as i have always guessed since god knows how long, the second one may not be healthy. you know what i mean.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Omggggggggggg, i was watching this movie just now and i cried many timessssssssss. like more than five times..
Is crying more than five times considered to be too much for just a movie? I know people usually cry two times during a movie, or basically less than five. But this?!? I cried MORE than five times! is it just me or this movie is DAMN GOOD? its very rare for fire signs like me to get emotional easily. woww, over the years, i feel that i've become more sensitive and emotional. I did score quite high-average for the level of neuroticism. that means i do respond emotionally to things. shit. i dont want that cause emotional can get the best out of me sometimes.. :/ i guess i should listen to my head more than my heart sometimes. Emotions can diminish our ability to think clearly, make decisions and cope effectively with stress. so i hope the level of my neuroticism will decrease over the years.. Besides, they said Neuroticism decreases with age.. so just wait and hope things things will change for the better. Hmmm, now i know how the water sign usually feels.. :l cause i'm in this period now... Very sot, emotional, or maybe even too sensitive. Gosh how i wish i'll be out of this period soon... I'm still feeling the same as how i felt in my previous post. Still sad.. depressed.. shocked.. and many more you can think of.. Though i may not show... the thoughts, feelings, and memories kept replaying back in my mind..
Why must we be separated from our close ones? Why cant we just be close to one another everyday?? Why cant we just be near to each other?? WHY?? i do know the answer but sometimes i just cant seem to accept it. i'll somewhat deny it. Okay so what do i think the answer is? I think we are separated from each other cause everybody has different ambitions in life.. Some of us want to be a doctor, a teacher, a photographer, lab technician and e list goes on and on and on.. Thats why we cant be together all the time and do the same things like before.. unlike in secondary school.. :l :(((
Haiz..i know this is part and parcel of life. But.. kay nvm. idk how exactly to put it in words. All of us want to be different person when we grow up. thats why, we got to be separated, while we're on our way learning and striving to become what we want to be in life. :l :/ :] NOW I THINK my answer would be different for the facebook quiz. The quiz was this: What do you need in order to be happy? And i got success. The quiz say i need success to be happy.. then i see my friend's result. they all need friends to be happy. i wondered why my ans was different than the rest.. :/ I think my head was kookoo at that time. Looking at things right now, my answer shud be friends. I need friends to be happy. Look at me now, do i look/sound like i'm happy? The ans is obvious. *sighs*
Hmm about that movie. I think i cried many times because it reminded me of Mr Russia/Y. :/ i was very very very very very angry and upset and superrrrrrrrrrrr hurt. Till i was m.i.a for one week. I was down,needed time to be alone.to suck my own wounds till it healed... all the things that had happened. from what he did to how he react/respond.. :l He's been both a sweetheart and a jerk. He msged last week, as if wanting to start what we used to have last time. And hid bby asked will i give him another chance to redeem himself? well, i dont know. some part of me say yes i should give. while some part of me says no. To be honest, if there is any reason why i choose to avoid being in contact with somebody, its because i dont want to get hurt again. Haiss i miss those times when we were close. I'm not sure if thats ever possible to happen again. Hmmm, like hidayah said.. Just keep the gd memories bt try to forget the bad ones. Yeah..life should be like that. (Y)
I was emo countless times this week and last week. thinking about the past. about my GFs. I wonder how are they doing. I wonder how are they coping with their daily life routine.. are they thinking what i'm thinking? are they feeling what im feeling? we all are in different environment. be it schooling or working. Though i'm in the same block as sofia, i rarely see her. Its so weird. seems so near yet so far.. Poly is sooooooooo huge. And there's sooooooo many people. i cant keep track of anyone unless they're in the same class as me. I didnt even bump into Firah this week. In times like this, whenever i think back the about things that i've done to my gfs. i feel guilty and miserable. i know what i've done wrong/bad/over. If i know i would be feeling like this, i wouldnt be too hard on ppl in the past. I wud just be patient and give them the best. I should be perfecting my love to them, overlook their faults and fight their mistakes. Yeahh, only now i understand that
Friendships are like wine, it gets better as you grow older.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
"I dont want
to walk this earth
If i gotta do it..
solo (solo).."
i use to be like that..
now im like this.. :l :{"Cuz i was so high,
And now im so low..
And i dont wanna
walk around alone,solo.."
That song is now stuck in my head.. Solo by IYAZ. :l and its sooooooo suitable with my emotions feelings & thoughts right now. I'm sure it'll be an irony to some of my dearest&nearest cause i've always seem independent. i'm not dat scared or worried to do things alone.. i can go shopping solo even. but then. suddenly realization hits. "oh no.. they're not gonna be around near anymre.. i cannot see their faces everyday like i used to.. i cannot laugh talk & joke around with them like i always do before..face to face.. everybody is gonna be busy.. and that's freaking me out..". Being with awesome all-time favourite cool gerek people has a major cut down & drastic change. that's so.. .. so s a d.. :((( yearh i know we can still meet up, organize outings, bestfriends tak akan hilang punye all that. of course we wont forget each other. never. ever will be. but still, the change is so sudden and huge till it put me on edge..
shit.i guess i took advantage and take it lightly whenever they are around last time.. always thinking oh they'll be thr the next day,oh nvm i'll see them tmrw. now that they cant be around as often.. i'm in the state of shocked sad stress sad speechless sad. haiss. we used to be a team, running the streets/school , and was living out our dream/life, so carefree & happy :')
i even cried recently. i know so stupid right but what to do.. soal hati and emosi, cnnt control so should just let it out. i am so sorry cos i'm suddenly being so negative here. i just cant be positive at this period. not now. i wish i can be & stay positive like i always do but no.. now is the sot period. for me. i may not show how i feel, i may look smiley and happy all that but inside is like rojak. all the mixed feelings are jumble up. frightful thoughts are racing through my mind. now that im already in that school, i am trying n thinking n adapting as fast as i could to make the best out of it through out my journey and experience going through there. i got to figure out..SOON. so i'll stop being worried n stressed unnecessarily. gosh i hate being a freshman. i hate starting frm scratch. i hate not having the feeling of being "used to it". i hate not feeling like a senior. i hate not having my fav ppl around me. i hate it i hate it i hate it!!!
aww man, sec sch friends and poly friends are different. i rmbr what my eng tuition teacher said, when in poly & jc lvl already, there'll be more shrewd ppl around.. at least in secondary sch, you all are still in your decent years growing up all that. but when it comes to poly/jc level, you got to be careful with who you mixed around with. whoaa, thats so scary man. suddenly desperate housewives come to my mind.. the lady that usually speaks in the background ever said
"We must be very careful who we invites into our life.Cause we dont know what terrible secrets they bring with them, what effect they could do to our love ones. Some will come and go. While others may refuse to leave."
wouw. what a statement. i dont intend to find/make bestfriend in poly.cause im sure everybody already have their own bestfriends when in secondary school...so... just friends should be fine. u need alot esp those in the same class as you cos we need to help each other out. must happy happy together n susah susah together also..
" See, they give
me a purpose
Now im
getting nervous
That my heart will
never sing again " :l :/ :( :'<
Friday, April 9, 2010
Look at the time now... as i am typing this, its already 4:17am in the morning... Isn't that amazing ? no actually it isnt cause im suppose to be sleeping so i'll have tons of energy for tmrw! ^^
aren't they sexy and sweet? ;) HAHA!
the simple ones for poly while the over ones is just adding to my closet collections.
will be collecting them tday at yishun around 5-6pm. Actually's there's four more.. but i dont have the pictures..Another 2 for my sisters and 2 for hidayah bby cause its my belated bday gift for her. (yearhiknw,shame on me cos its damn late)
but nvm,its the thought that counts. i promise to be on time next time. and i promise to make for everyone cool named necklace/bracelet. (Y) :))))))
hmmm, i dont know if i cant wake up tmrw. i need at least 7hrs of sleep. thats what's e internet says, so i'll probably finish this by 5 am, that means i can only wake up at..urmm 12pm. Yeahhh, that shud be enough time before i get ready and go out with the drama chics again! if i wake-up late, force me to wake-up horr. just wake me up & call me many times tau sarah at 12 noon. just make my phone ring non-stop. just in case the alarm wont work. hmmmm its SUPER SATURDAY! and we'll be SHOPPING together.. WUW!! :DDD it will and should be a great day tmrw cause not only i'll finally get the blogshop items, i'll be getting levis jeans frm sarah n myself then the shoe that i want! :DDDD and maybe some other stuffs idk :}
awww man. this is the kind of things that can cheer you up and make you feel happy and excited for the day tmrw! no wait, tday i meant. hahah. :}
actually i'm supposed to collect the stuff together with hid, but i dont want to trouble her. moreover, i want to include smth else b4 i pass them to her. (ouhh you will look sexy in that leopard-print dress hidayah.. ;P Hehehees ) okay, was msging let-it-go girl just now,then stopped cause she's sleepy already. Okay, now then i'm tired.. *yawnswideloudly*
huuh.buhbye. WO YAO SLEEP LIAO. ^__^